The Great Cover Up

This all started with Barbie.

I joined an Altered Barbie Swap and, under the influence of Pema Chodron (as my lover Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy would say, a D*** fine woman, or something equally macho in a sensitive overbearing snooty way), I decided to cover Barbie in love (or Sculpey clay, which is a reasonable facsimile) rather than mutilate her with pliers, hot beeswax or a fine saw. The net result of this experiment is that Barbie is starting to look human rather than mosquitolike. Tame the oppressor of middle-aged women with honey rather than with beeswax. (By the way, I found a really cool picture of a Barbie wrapped in yarn and beeswax and now cannot locate the site, but surely at this point I digress).

So, to the challenge (I can hear Darcy in my mind conquering this, although in truth he rarely conquers his way out of a paper bag these days):

1) Find something to cover. If you have an international partner, it can be as light and flat as you can find -- a paperclip, a miniature fly swatter, a thousand pound promissory note, etc. -- if you have a local partner or money to spend on international shipping, an upright piano or smallish sort of shrubbery might be a nice gesture.

2) Find something to cover it with. Melted plastic bags ironed between two sheets of parchment paper, dental floss, resin, wool roving for felting, netting, paper for decoupaging, etc.

3) Figure out how the thing 2) is going to get really stuck with the thing 1) -- I mean truly stuck with it. Glue is traditional, but there is always sewing, quilting, plasticating, enveloping, papermaking, felting, etc. Threatening generally does not work with inanimate objects, with the possible exception of Mr. Darcy. He can be swayed.

4) Cover the thing (1) with the thing (2). Be sure that it is really stuck on using method 3) -- if it is not then you can always go with Plan B, which is to try a new method of sticking, see 3), only make it 3) b).

5) Send it to your partner. Naked mail, or clothed in packaging, your choice, although I know what Darcy would prefer. Not sure about Pema Chodron, although she would surely have compassion and an anecdote for both methods.

6) Wait patiently for your mail to arrive. Be compassionate with your partner and rate with humility (Darcy and Pema Chodron are in accord on this, although I am not mentioning Darcy's comment about noble birth, nor Pema's about how many meditation students it takes to change a light bulb).

As always, I do indeed angel all my swaps and encourage the use of the PM function to request a 1:1 swap.

graphic credit